A name is a powerful thing. A name decides a first impression. Some people have a cute, creative story behind their name. Me? Not so much. My parents wanted a "M" name so I would be named after my mother's late mother whose name was Margaret. My parents allowed my oldest brothers to pick my name, one wanted Michelle, and one wanted Mara. My oldest brother looked up the meaning of Mara in hebrew and discovered it meant "bitter" in hebrew. This was his reasoning for me to not be named Mara. Obviously that was not successful.
My name thus far in my life has not bothered me one way or another. However, I am worried that my last name will affect my career later in life. If I stick with my current plan, which is to become a lawyer, I don't want anyone to be able to say my success is only because of who my parents are. My oldest brother, bless his heart, is a lawyer whose success, while well deserved, was enhanced by his parents success. I want my success to be individual. The ability to be old look back on my life and say I worked my ass off and it payed off.
On the same pattern I think Gogol found himself disconnected from his name because it was not actually his name. He knew from when he was little that his name was a last minute decision that was forced, it was not thoughtful and was not special to him. It also tore him between not only his two heritages but a third culture which he felt a relation to but distantly.
Getting to write your own destiny is a dream, a fairytale, but just sitting along for the ride is ridiculous.
I want to write my own story, not my destiny, but my story, it is influenced by everything else but I still get to make the decisions. Forget my name, forget the drama. Just live.
Monday, 17 March 2014
Sunday, 9 March 2014
If You're a Bird… I'm a Bird. Unless I Can Be a Unicorn.
People say to follow their families. You are your family and whatnot.
Culturally my family is… complex.
On my dads side of the family I have Russian, Polish, German, and Israeli. On my moms side I have Irish, Italian, French, and a lot of European. But since we very rarely celebrate any of the holidays or customs associated with any of these cultural backgrounds, I learned more about our religious background. My dads family was Yiddish and Jewish, while my mom grew up Catholic. I went to a Jewish preschool and have gone to services on the high holidays every year, also I have either been in or taught hebrew school since I was 5.
Clearly I did not grow up Catholic.
Every child who grew up Jewish celebrates their thirteenth birthday with a ceremony. I had a horrendous Torah portion and since then have not really associated my self with being Jewish.
That was enough knowledge of my families background that I did not want to be associated with any of that. I know that means I am not following the path of my family, but I decided I want to make my own path.
I never met my grandparents and do not know what values they have. My family was always more concerned with political values than religious or cultural.
Growing up in an extremely Liberal house with very prominent advocates for liberalism affected my brother and I differently. My youngest brother grew to hate every aspect of law, of liberalism. He has become a conservative mostly just to annoy my parents, and was determined to not have anything to do with law in his job when he grew up. He moved as far across the country as he could, as soon as he could.
I separated myself from my families opinions but I still find liberalism and law really interesting.
While I think my youngest brother and I both found it challenging to grow up in such an opinionated house where growing up there was a right way and a wrong way, I also think we learned to separate ourselves from it.
If you were to ask me what I want to be when I grow up I would say a lawyer. If you asked me where I wanted to live, I would have to think about it and say that I still have to decide between the east coast and England. Far away from home, far away from the traditions that make my family who they are.
Most people when asked about their heritage and family traditions talk about cultural differences they have from their family. Since my family is not culturally specific, I went with the only traditions I ever knew.
Culturally my family is… complex.
On my dads side of the family I have Russian, Polish, German, and Israeli. On my moms side I have Irish, Italian, French, and a lot of European. But since we very rarely celebrate any of the holidays or customs associated with any of these cultural backgrounds, I learned more about our religious background. My dads family was Yiddish and Jewish, while my mom grew up Catholic. I went to a Jewish preschool and have gone to services on the high holidays every year, also I have either been in or taught hebrew school since I was 5.
Clearly I did not grow up Catholic.
Every child who grew up Jewish celebrates their thirteenth birthday with a ceremony. I had a horrendous Torah portion and since then have not really associated my self with being Jewish.
That was enough knowledge of my families background that I did not want to be associated with any of that. I know that means I am not following the path of my family, but I decided I want to make my own path.
I never met my grandparents and do not know what values they have. My family was always more concerned with political values than religious or cultural.
Growing up in an extremely Liberal house with very prominent advocates for liberalism affected my brother and I differently. My youngest brother grew to hate every aspect of law, of liberalism. He has become a conservative mostly just to annoy my parents, and was determined to not have anything to do with law in his job when he grew up. He moved as far across the country as he could, as soon as he could.
I separated myself from my families opinions but I still find liberalism and law really interesting.
While I think my youngest brother and I both found it challenging to grow up in such an opinionated house where growing up there was a right way and a wrong way, I also think we learned to separate ourselves from it.
If you were to ask me what I want to be when I grow up I would say a lawyer. If you asked me where I wanted to live, I would have to think about it and say that I still have to decide between the east coast and England. Far away from home, far away from the traditions that make my family who they are.
Most people when asked about their heritage and family traditions talk about cultural differences they have from their family. Since my family is not culturally specific, I went with the only traditions I ever knew.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)